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Showing posts with label Grace. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Grace. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Redeeming Christmas

lampIn all honesty, Christmas has lost something for me over the years.  It is supposed to be the happiest time of the year, but somehow it has gotten all goofed up. 


Christmastime for me is when the house is busting at the seams with toys, and I’m having trouble getting into the “Christmas spirit” because I know that there are more coming.  


It’s hard when it’s the time of year when everyone is asking, “So are you done with your Christmas shopping yet?” as innocent as can be, and I am more worried about  how I am going to pay my bills . . . let alone have extra to buy presents for ANYONE . . .  especially my kids.  (Something that they are truly wishing for . . . not toys.)


In fact for the last two Christmases we didn’t even bother putting up a tree.  We “played the part” at the appropriate Christmas get togethers, but we just weren’t feeling it.


This year I’m finally beginning to realize what the problem is . . . what the void and disconnect is.  And it’s NOT the fact that we don’t celebrate “Santa” in our home. 


We decided to celebrate Jesus instead, but were at a loss for exactly how to do that in conjunction with the “Santa” in all of our get togethers over the holidays.  Where was there room for Jesus? 


We decided not to go to anyone’s house for Christmas starting this year.  Maybe we could begin a change as a family unit, and serve others on that day.


It’s not even our first Christmas at home, and already a change is happening.  The tree is up.  Our families are focusing on those that are in need in our area with excitement and purpose.  One grandma is knitting gloves, and the other is spending time and money to help fill the needs of others.  The ones that they are helping to serve are personal friends of ours, some are homeless and some are simply in need, and the excitement is mounting.  This is what is important!  This is what matters!  


This is what Christmas is all about!  Jesus!  Serving Jesus by serving others is far more important than a present under the tree . . . it is a way of life.
If someone gives me something that is only meant to serve me superficially (it doesn’t meet a need in my life), and if I can’t use it so serve others, I DON’T WANT IT!  


Temporary pleasures will never be worth the same as something warm for a homeless man,  or something that creates a smile on a struggling woman’s face.


Yes, this Christmas is more.  This is the Christmas that Christmas redeems itself . . . through the love and generosity of us and the ones that we love.  Now THIS is the Christmas I’ve been missing!  The greatest present “under the tree” is not for me or the kids, and that’s just fine with me!  WE prefer it that way!!  We’ve already received the greatest gift of ALL TIME . . . Jesus . . . and HE has made all the difference!!


Lord, watch over those that have not, and continue to use those that have to provide for them.  Watch over those without shelter in this bitter cold.  We pray this in Jesus’ name.  Amen

Monday, December 6, 2010

Lewis, The Friendly Repo Man-Part 2

As a said before in the last post, our first year of homeschooling was during an extremely tough year, for many reasons.  But our finances, or lack thereof, played a huge role in the stress of that year.  There were many times when I wondered why I had felt called to start homeschooling that year, of all years!  But God was with us . . .

He was with us when we my hubby had no job for six months, and then found one finally that paid a lot less then jobs he’d had before, but it was income . . . just before the unemployment ran out. 

He was there when we went to a real estate office to talk to a financial service representative about getting out of our big monthly payment, and moving to a home with a smaller one.  And He was there when the man at the office gently told us that he thought that bankruptcy was a better option for us, and he gave us the name and recommendation of a bankruptcy attorney to talk to.

He was there as my husband and I sat outside our house, in the car, and cried together.  He was there as we dried the tears of our humiliation and shame over the situation, and geared up to walk in the house and face our children and the babysitter.

He was there at the attorney’s office and in bankruptcy court, as time and time again our financial situation was laid bare and spoken about in front of strangers.  He was with us when so many others in the trustee’s office that day had attorneys that were unprepared, and ours was prepared for anything.  He was there as I felt compelled to pray over the ones that were caused extra pain by the incompetence of their legal representation.

And he was there as we prepared to move away from our first home as a married couple, and the only home our children had ever known.  He was there when we thoroughly cleaned our house and leased van in preparation to give them back to the bank, and we tried to show our children how to be honorable in bad situations.

And he was there when Lewis came to our door . . .

We had been working frantically to move everything that we could before the van had to go back.  We didn’t have the money to rent a moving van, and we were already working against time to get out of the home before the bank took possession.  We only needed to move a few more loads of belongings that wouldn’t fit in a car.  It was a Wednesday or Thursday when Lewis came to our door and knocked.

My hubby had taken the van to work, and was away as I answered the door. 

Lewis was a kind looking man, probably about the age of my father.  He looked at me and asked gently about the van.

“My husband has it and isn’t here now.”

“Are you willing to give the van back?”

“Yes, we are more than willing to give it back.  We understand that it is not ours to keep.”

Handing me his card with his name and cell phone number on it.  “Then call me, and we can set a time to meet.  I can meet you here on Saturday.”

“Oh, thank you!  We will be calling you later today to set that up.”

I said good-bye and closed the door with relief.  And here was God’s grace and mercy again, in this man named Lewis.

My husband called later to set up an “appointment” for the next day, and I sighed.  Now we had just enough time to move what we couldn’t move without the van.  There would be no removal of the van in the night, no surprise.  We had the grace and mercy of a little more time to move.

We made many trips between the two houses the next couple days, but once again God had provided for us . . . through a man named Lewis.  Praise God!

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As many of you know from my blog, we have since gone through another period of unemployment.  This time we were already at a point of living on less of an income, and we were able to live off of the unemployment income and pay our bills.  My hubby has again found a job . . . just as he would be set to lose unemployment insurance with so many right now.  Please pray with me now for them.

Lord, there are so many that are hurting financially right now.  And worse than that, there are many that can not find a job right now, and are losing their unemployment . . . the only income that they have.  We could have very easily been one of them.  There are so many whose hearts are breaking.  Please watch over those in need, and continue to provide employment opportunities and provision for them during this time.  And thank you for all of the blessings that you offer us every day.  Lord we pray this in Jesus’ name.  Amen

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Social Etiquette

Last Christmas Eve, while most of us celebrated blissfully, my good friend Jessica said goodbye to her young children and entered the hospital to start chemo. 

This is a message from her to all of us, and it is something for all of us to think about in relating to those around us . . .

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Whatever happened to people’s etiquette? This has been bothering me for quite some time now.

I’m recovering from AML (Acute Myeloid Leukemia) . I’ve had five chemo treatments and have lost my hair twice. It was a long hard year, for me and my family. I’m in recovery now THANKS to God and my Stem Cell Transplant donor, who I believe was sent by God.


Proverbs 11:13 says: A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.

I implore you to be a trustworthy person to yourself and to others, if something you say could hurt someone please think about it before you say it out loud!

When you’re shopping with a loved one, and you decide to gossip about the people in the store, they can most likely hear you! Twice this has happened while I was shopping at a local store and once when I was with my sister. All three times I overheard people talking to someone else, asking if they thought I was a lesbian because of my short hair.

I’ve actually been approached twice and asked the same question, once by giggling high school girls and once by a 90 yr. old woman!

Most of the time my answer has been pretty standard: “No, I have cancer, but thanks!” And I walk away, leaving them dumbfounded.
My hair is something that I can’t control, but your thoughts are something you can!

I think that the internet has to some extent, hurt peoples’ built in etiquette filters. The internet is SO anonymous, that people can say whatever they want without repercussions. Then when they go out in public with Real Live People, they don’t know how to filter their thoughts anymore, and all this junk and filth comes out of their mouths.

Dear Lord, Please help us to filter our thoughts and our written words, so that we may speak and post thoughts in a way that pleases you Lord, and shines a light so that others know that we are of you, and not of this world!
Jessica

Saturday, November 20, 2010

In Awe Of God

9-6-2010 12-57-34 PM_0220I am in awe of God. I love how He works, and who He is.  He is perfect parent, and the facilitator of all that is in His plan.

Just a little over a week ago my husband was offered a part-time job.  Praise God!  But in the year + that he was without regular work God taught us some enormous lessons that we will be forever grateful for.

He has given the opportunity to receive an attitude and perspective adjustment.  I needed that.  I really needed that.  I hate that I needed that, but I did.

When going through a tough time, it is so hard to focus on the blessings.  Sometimes there is just too much struggle in the way, and it blinds us to the abundance of good in our lives. 

Why do we do this?  Why do we allow the evil one to get to us and distract us in this way?  In times of vulnerability it seems that we are an easy target, but that is when God means to bless us the most. 

In fact, the day before my hubby was offered his job, I had a serious heart to heart with God.  I told Him that I had realized that I had been focusing on the negative things going on, and that I was sorry.  I cried out to Him, and praised Him for every since blessing that He was giving us.  The list was long, and grew longer and longer.

The next day a miracle happened and my hubby was offered a job during an interview.  (This just does NOT happen right now!)  Two days later we were offered something that we really needed from the abundance of a ministry at our church . . . just out of the blue!  And a few days after that I received an anonymous card in the mail containing a verse that I have been meditating on (Jeremiah 29:11*) and a gift card to buy a few other much needed items!  Praise God!

God is not a lucky rabbit’s foot or a safety net.  He is perfect parent to those who come to Him in earnest.  Like many of us, He just wants to be understood, respected, and most of all . . . loved.

Thank you Lord for loving us, even when we struggle with your plan, and we focus on the wrong things.  We love you.  Thank you for your blessings.  Please continue to watch over us, and provide for us, as we learn your ways.  In Jesus’ name we pray.  Amen

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(*Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV))

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Loving Our Social Time

5-29-2009 1-18-23 PM_0009

 

 

 

I have to laugh! Ha ha ha Winking smile 

Sorry, like I said, I had to laugh! Smile

Admittedly, there are some closest to me that are probably tired of hearing me joke about the whole “socialization issue”.

You see, I’m the stinker that will catch my children heavy in social conversation with their *gasp!* friends, and say out loud sarcastically in public places, “Wow, you’re such an unsocialized homeschooler!”  Imagine my amused surprise when a fourth grade teacher at the city park thought I was serious, and anxiously reassured me that the boys were “just fine”!  My younger son had just spoken to him, and is doing fourth grade work.  I had a hearty chuckle over that one, and reassured him that I was only joking about the whole homeschooler/socialization issue.   I don’t think he got the joke.  Oh, well . . .

The thing is, it still amazes me that it is such an issue for so many people.  It is almost literally every non-homeschooler’s first question and concern!  As if, as a homeschooling mom I just decided that my kids didn’t need to be social, and I locked each of them in a closet with their school books all day.  Uh . . . no!  But unfortunately, I believe, homeschooling is largely misunderstood in many ways and by many people.

Now about the look on my older son’s face in the picture above.  He loves to observe, and he’s just concentrating.  Glad I could clear that up, but I digress. Winking smile 

The picture above was from a mock dinosaur dig, and my boys had a blast!  Just imagine, a whole lawn of homeschool kids split into small groups and playing paleontologist.  What joy, what fun, and they were all . . .  working together!

Every homeschooling mom is bombarded with the question of “socialization”, but in our support group there really isn’t much concern about it, because we know our kids are just fine in that respect.  The ironic thing is that as most of us are such social creatures, as homeschooling moms, we are constantly “exposing our children to social situations”. 

As a family, we personally take art classes, go to a gym day with our friends, we take enrichment classes within our support group and our community in general, we go to church, and we are hosting a small group bible study(among many other things).  We do all of this as a family, and we have many friends.  Just as my husband and I are very social people, our children are very social people.

There are those that are concerned about homeschoolers functioning in “the real world”.   We are learning and growing in the “real world” every day! 

Last night I had some “social time” . . . mommy style.  I love the support group that I belong to.  I love the ladies.  I love their friendship.  I love their faith.  I love watching our kids play together.  I love the fact that together we are always striving to give our kids the best in education, life, and love . . . and that we are on this journey together.

Lord, you know that we would love to live in a world where we are better understood by those around us.  If it is in your plan, please give us this blessing.  But even if that never happens, thank you for the blessing of you.  You love us and understand us and bless us as homeschoolers and moms.  You are working in us for your plan and vision for us, and the families around us.  Thank you for blessing us on this journey together.  Amen

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Yes, I’d Like The Garment Of Praise Please

The following two verses have come to me as the “Verse of the Day” from Bible Gateway the today and yesterday.  I have been receiving a verse everyday for awhile now but these two are especially timely.  I’ll tell you why they mean so much below each verse below.

Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I want to believe this so bad right now.  With the chaos of life swirling around me, I need for this to be true.  And the beautiful part of this is it is.  The problem isn’t that it isn’t true, the problem is that for a time I became caught up in the chaos, and took my eyes off the blessing.  Instead of delighting in all that the Lord has blessed us with, I let myself stay in frustration over what isn’t going well right now. 
 
Our school year is going well, and we have everything we need to have an abundant school experience this year.  Grammy blesses us with the means to provide some of our extracurricular activities.  We are healthy (for the most part), our children have clothes to wear (in abundance thanks to hand-me-downs), and food to eat.  We have a beautiful 60 year old house with beautiful original woodwork to live in, and we can pay all of our bills.  We have a beautiful little family, and a wonderful group of friends.
 
But a couple of people have been upset with me lately over petty things, the house needs so much work, and our house organization is . . . not working right now.  My husband still does not have steady work, and the unemployment is not going to go on forever.  The job situation is bleak and I’m sick of not having money.  Why am I focusing on this?!  Where is my delight?  He is taking care of us!  And this is where today’s “Verse of the Day” comes in . . .

Psalm 51:12
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

I’ve had so much joy in the past, and now I find myself getting bogged down.  That’s just where Satan wants me.  Why do I let him do that to me?!  Argggg!!


I was talking to a spirit led friend of mine the other day.  She told me about the importance of positive affirmation in the face of adversity.  When we are negative in our statements about what is happening in our life, we let Satan steal our joy.  It burns us out physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.


“I'm Trading My Sorrows” as Darrell Evans says in his song.  I am making a conscience decision to believe that God will bring my husband steady work.  He will continue to provide for us.  I will focus on doing what I can do to better organize our home, and continue to enjoy this wonderful homeschooling journey that we are on.  We will enjoy the blessing of living where we are living until God moves us.  I will try to bless my husband, and others that bless me in so many ways.  And I will serve those I can in the ways that God provides for me to do so.  I will be grateful for what God has provided for us, instead of focusing on what we don’t have.


I will put on “a garment of praise, instead of a spirit of despair" as Isaiah 61 says. 

Thank you Lord for my family and friends. Please help them to know the same blessing and joy that they bring me.  Please give us all “a garment of praise, instead of a spirit of despair” and help us to focus on your blessing so that you may restore the joy that only you can give, especially in the tough times.  Amen

Saturday, October 9, 2010

What Do You Do?

What do you do,

When the world falls apart,

When you can’t help a friend,

Out of the breaking of their heart?

 

What do you do,

When you can’t help them heal,

And you can’t take away,

All the feelings they feel?

 

What do you do,

For the ones that you love,

When God is the only one,

That can help them rise above?

 

You pray and you listen,

And you try to understand,

And you leave them all,

In the palm of His hand.

    -S. G. (aka The Social Homeschooler) Copyright 2010

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Lord we are all fighting a battle.  Some are struggling financially.  Some are struggling with family issues.  Some are struggling with health and other issues.  Let them all know that they are loved and help them to feel your peace.  Amen

Friday, October 1, 2010

Someone Hurt My Friend Today (This Is Not About Any One In Particular)

Someone hurt my friend today,

Though I’m not sure why,

They made a tear run down her cheek,

That made me want to cry.

 

Someone said something,

That made her problems seem too small,

Or much bigger than they should have been,

They said something they shouldn’t have said at all.

 

Someone accused her of being something she’s not,

Or told her she should be more,

They did something to crush her tender heart,

They slammed a wounded door.

        - S. G.  (aka The Social Homeschooler), Copyright 2010

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The tender heart of a woman was not meant to be trampled on.  Bless a friend today!

Lord, may all those who are hurting in the world know that they are cared about by you and others around them.  Amen

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Lone Heron

View The Great Blue Heron



When my husband first saw this Heron he couldn’t resist the temptation to get a few good photos.  As a family we love nature and photography, so why wouldn’t he?  We were very delighted and surprised that the Heron “stayed put” after so many photos (some of them taken very near to him).  Even so, we walked gingerly and respectfully quiet toward him.  Through it all the Heron did get a little nervous at the end, but remained tolerant of our photos, and quiet “oohs and aaahs” at being so close to such a beautiful bird.
Sometimes I feel like that Heron.  He had taken a different path from the others, and was alone when we saw him.  In the same way our family is alone among other family members, in some of the choices that we have made.  We are so much happier now that we have made the choices that we have, but sometimes we get the feeling that we are being watched closely and observed.  Sometimes there is open encouragement and support, and sometimes not so much.

Some of our family thinks “that all kids should be in school”, and they are leery of our decisions.  “We are definitely NOT mainstream!”, they say.  So we don’t watch the latest TV shows, but we do watch some of the older wholesome TV shows online.   We educate our kids at home.  We work together, and watching educational videos are as much of a treat for our kids as watching a movie.  They read, and watch the news, and check out the weather radar online.  They take the classes that interest them at the co-op and in the community at nature centers and such, and play “pretend” rather than video games.  We do a lot of activities with other kids, and their families outside the home.  We visit friends after church on Sunday.  And we enjoy games together, like “Scrabble” and “On Assignment With National Geographic”.  Why does that make us so weird?

We all make different decisions for our families.  I don’t make the choices that you might. And you might not make some of the choices that I have.  When looking at me, learn to see things from my point of view before you form an opinion.  If you give me the gentle understanding and grace that I deserve, then I will be able to let you know me better.

I am looking forward to knowing you better as well!  If you have your own blog, let me know.  You may also drop me a line at my profile page.
Blessings ;)

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Beat Of Both Drum And Heart

I was listening to "Creed" by Rich Mullins tonight.  It is one of my favorite songs.  It has a way of breathing life and meaning to this important but dusty, old creed that is refreshing to me.  It is amazing to me all of the things that we commit to memory, without first committing them to heart as well. 

Sometimes songs bring to mind related thoughts that are just as important, but unrelated to the song's intended message.  Tonight, listening to this song, I found myself focused on the drumbeat above all else.  That's saying a lot considering the amazing, and beautiful Hammer Dulcimer music featured there.  Wow!

The revelation to me seemed to be that while music and life are beautiful, without a regular drum or heart beat they can get horribly off track.   A band can practice a song until they have it down pat, but if the drumbeat isn't right it can mess everything up.  It's the same way with our heart.  I don't mean the human heart.  It's to fickle and fragile.  I mean the heart behind what we do during our time on earth.

If God is the power behind the beat of our heart, then we have His strength to lean on in the bad, and praise  for all of the good.  But without God, and a beat, life and music will never have the meaning that they were meant to have.

Lord may all know the beauty, and joy, of the beat given to my heart through you.  Amen



Also, praise God for the life and heart of a dear aunt that went to be with God this last week.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Investing In Something Worth Fighting For

It seems to me that far too many people have gotten so carried away in the thinking of this “throw away society”.  Nothing is sacred, and everything is disposable anymore it seems.  “Don’t take care of what you have, you deserve better!”, seems to be the overwhelming message today.

“Don’t take care of your things, just throw them out when you are tired of them, and buy newer and better ones!”

“Don’t bother nurturing the relationships in your life, toss anyone that irritates you aside, and spend time with someone else!”

“Don’t take care of the precious body that God gave you, you can always nip it, and tuck it, and medicate it later!”  Have you noticed how many celebrities there are that end up looking worse after trying to use plastic surgery or Botox to look younger?

It’s amazing to me how the world hurts today, in part, because they have stopped caring about what they have and want more.  I am so blessed in that I have a man with a mind and a talent for maintenance and repair.  I can not tell you how much money has been saved by just maintaining or repurposing what we already have (or others’ cast offs on Craigslist).   For instance we just recently saved hundreds of dollars in repair costs by having my hubby fix the sway bar and replace the front brakes on the 12 year old minivan.  Our cost for parts was like between $30-$40 (the brakes are under a lifetime warranty).  And we are repurposing someone’s castoff as our new home school storage center/desk.  A tweak, and a little paint, and it will be very functional for us!  The last owners gave it away free on Craigslist.  It’s looks like they just built it, and it’s built well!

Within the last year my hubby started delivering produce as an independent contractor, for a company that strives to buy local, and delivers to the person’s door.  Awesome company, awesome fresh produce, and we are eating healthier.  Hubby earns money to deliver to other customers, and then brings our box home, and I don’t have to shop for produce from the grocery store that goes bad in a couple days.  We also try to do much of our grocery shopping at Trader Joe's.  Many items are cheaper than the local grocery chain, some things are a little more, but we always save money there over the grocery chain in the end.  I mean, why buy plain old orange juice for over $3 when I can buy Orange Peach Mango Juice or Cherry Cider for the same price or cheaper?!  Yumm!  And there is very little there in the way of corn syrup.  The food does not have (that I have found) artificial preservatives, and artificial dyes.  We save money, we are healthier and feeling better, and we are eating food that tastes like restaurant quality or better!  I love it!

Relationships are the greatest investment that people throw away.  You are not always going to be happy with any one person, but all people have value and worth.  I managed a photo area at an independent drugstore for a time, after I was married.  While my hubby was still fixing photo machines at the time, he was not working for the manufacturer that was providing service for that store.  A tech I’ll call Chris came in instead.  Chris was obviously not happy, and actually pretty grouchy, when he came in to work on the machine.  He seemed like a good guy though, and I tried to show him extra kindness when he came in.  I was professional, and I tried extra hard to pay close attention to everything that he told me to do to maintain the machine.  And when I could I brought him some zucchini bread.  After a while he came around, and by the time my hubby started working for that company, Chris and I were friends.  My hubby also became fast friends with him, and we joke that they were separated at birth, because they are that much alike.  The key was that I was professional.  I wasn’t crossing a line and flirting, I was being nice and considerate.  That’s important. 

We found out later that the woman that was in my position before me was doing her job begrudgingly, and wasn’t taking care of all of her responsibilities.  In other words, on top of a already overloaded schedule, Chris knew that he would always have extra work to do at the store I worked at.  When I came in, my actions showed him that I cared about lessening this burden.  AND I gave him zucchini bread.  It’s doesn’t always take a lot to make someone’s life a little happier.  We just have to show that we care.

The biggest way to show people that you care is to visit with those that have little or no visitors.  People in nursing homes and homeless shelters/food pantries have many needs that volunteers are important in fulfilling, but the greatest need that people forget is companionship.  It is one thing to serve food to the homeless.  That is an important calling as well!  But people in need and the elderly need to know that we see and value them as people, and not just a “charity case”.  You would be amazed how many people you can make happy with something as simple as a smile,a handshake, and a “How are you?”

Blessings ;)

Friday, September 10, 2010

Giving People A Chance

People are funny, seemingly fickle creatures.  Why are they the way they are?  What makes them tick?  What is their life story, and how does it relate to who they are today?  Where does their faith lie?
I often ponder these things when people act in a way that I don’t fully understand. 
Today my family was just leaving the checkout line of the hardware store when a clerk, seeing my kids straggling behind, said something that caught me off guard.  We had just been there to pick up paint chips to paint something at home, and when I told him that as we walked by, he said “Just don’t leave your kids behind.  I’ve already raised my kids!”.  He sounded serious, and gruff, although he may have had a very slight smile on his lips.  Was he joking?  Was raising his kids that awful an experience for him?  If so, how sad.  I really don’t know, and I probably never will.  But all I can do is care about him, and pray for him.
I used to work behind a photo counter years ago.  A man came in to drop off some film at prom time.  “How long will it take?”, he asked.  “About fifteen hours”, I responded calmly.  “But, but this is one hour photo!  Why can’t I have it in an hour?” he demanded, red faced.  I calmly pointed to the counter behind me where at least 75 rolls of undeveloped film sat in photo bags.  “It’s prom time, and they were first, so I have to develop their film before yours.”  He wasn’t happy, but he didn’t treat me too badly.  As I remember, he sulked, and walked out. 
There are so many things that people do and say, that make you wonder, what is their problem?  Why are they treating me that way?
Sometimes the way that people treat us has less to do with us personally, and more to do with them.  Maybe is was something seemingly insignificant that we said that touched a deep wound inside them.  Maybe we said one thing, and it caused them to draw a conclusion about us that is way off.  Maybe we are part of a group of people that they have some deep seated grudge against.  Maybe they are just that way with everyone as a defensive wall between themselves and others because something hurt them that bad, maybe years or even decades earlier.  Or maybe we did say something that hurt them, but we are blissfully naive about it, while it is something that really bothers the other person.  And they are unwilling to talk with us about it.
We really have no control over the words and actions of others, but we do have a choice in our words and actions.  I am not perfect, but I am working on leaning on the side of grace in these situations.
A wise pastor once told me about the importance of leaning on grace.  He said that when others question you as to how you feel about something, that you should always ask why.   It is then that you will have a greater understanding of where they are coming from, and you can then give an appropriate answer.  I think that this concept applies not only to our answers to others’ questions, but also to our responses to others’ actions.  We are not always happy about what others do and say, but the way we act has a great potential to make things better, or much worse.
For me, I am striving to reach out to those that I hurt, and those that hurt me.  Life is too short to hold a grudge, or seek revenge against someone!  Recently I actually have had the chance to extend forgiveness to a couple people from the past.  It was a good thing.  My wish is that I would make right, within God’s will, where I have wronged.  And that I would willingly extend to those that have hurt me the grace that I have found through others.
Blessings, and grace to all of you as we remember those lost that September 11th nine years ago . . . click here for "Revelation-September 11th Tribute" video.